TYPECAST AT THE OFFICE

“No one likes you!” commented the perfectionist to the extrovert.

“You’re wrong!” cried the extrovert to the perfectionist.

“You aren’t in control here!” said the perfectionist to the control addict.

“No one wants you to help!” complained the controller to the nurturer.

According to psychologists, there are no difficult people—only personality types that often clash. In the following scenario, the four basic personality types are revealed:

Imagine being invited to a new play at the Center for the Performing Arts. Everyone is excited about attending, but the weather on opening night is ominous. The temperature is dropping and it is snowing hard. With all the attendees waiting in the lobby, a theatre representative crackles to life on the intercom.

“Ladies and gentlemen, we have an announcement regarding our opening performance. Due to the deteriorating weather, our performance has been canceled. We would like to thank everyone for their patience and understanding. For future bookings, please approach the theater desk.”

A moan rises from the disappointed attendees as the four personality types appear.

The extroverts will immediately discover each other as they throw up their hands and say, “What the heck! Let’s go to the bar and have a drink. There’s nothing we can do now except wait in line. The desk will be rushed, so let’s go to the bar, and meet some new friends!” This concept makes the perfectionists and the controlling personalities go crazy.

Upon hearing the un-perfect news that the play has been canceled, the perfectionist will privately sigh and try to reconfigure an upcoming schedule, or whatever else that must be done to make everything perfect again.

The control addict will become upset and storm the reception desk. After fuming in line, the controlling personality will assault the receptionist with everything in his/her control-addict arsenal. “This is ridiculous! I had this planned for tonight! I have other obligations next week! Where is the theater manager? It’s hardly snowing at all!”

Meanwhile across the lobby, the nurturer will observe everyone and decide who needs help. The nurturing personality might go to the bar with the extroverts, or they might approach a perfectionist privately calculating a way to make everything perfect again.

“Do you feel comfortable driving?” the nurturer might ask. “I was thinking we might share a taxi.”

At the bar, the nurturing personality will offer, “Can I buy you a drink? How about some gum?”

The perfectionist might spend all day working on one project, but when finished, it will be perfect. The perfectionist’s desk will always be perfect, every drawer neat with everything in its place. To make perfectionists proud, praise their work and remark about the perfect details. To drive perfectionists crazy, tell them they’re wrong.

Extroverts that have desks that are visible are usually neat on the surface, but the drawers that are unseen are probably a mess. Extroverts just don’t have time to be perfect; they want to make friends and socialize! To make an extrovert happy, simply socialize and network. To destroy extroverts: tell them they are unpopular!

To make controlling types happy, tell them that they are in control! “That’s right, you’re the boss; you’re in control!” To deny this person control is the recipe for trouble. Many individuals in law enforcement are controlling personalities. They have guns. How much more control could there be? To make them enraged, tell them they have no control!

To make nurturing personalities happy, acknowledge the nurturing they dole out and help them to help. To disappoint nurturers, tell them that no one wants their help.

Individual differences can be a challenge. But understanding which personality types are opposites and which ones have the potential to clash can put you in the chairman’s seat in the psychological conference room of life.

By Tom Williams